I have been hesitant to write this blog, but now that Johnny has an American passport and birth certificate, I feel that I am in the clear. This is the story of how we made him an American citizen. Technically, he was an American the day he was born (Jesy and I bestowed our citizenship upon him at birth), but in this post 9/11 world, you know it is all about the paperwork.
When a mother leaves the hospital after giving birth (whether she is a Russian or a foreigner), she is given a white slip of paper that has recorded on it the mother's name, the day of her baby's birth, the time, and the height and weight. The baby's name is not recorded on this document. The nurses stress to you over and over again not to lose this paper- it's the only one you will get. You take this piece of paper to a Russian registrar's office and apply for a Russian birth certificate. With this birth certificate you then go to the American Embassy, along with a ton of paperwork to prove you really are an American, and apply for an American passport and birth certificate. Jesy and I knew all about this process before we moved to Moscow. Easy peesy we said. No big deal. Silly Eileen and Jesy. Silly, silly. Nothing is ever easy peesy in Russia.
If you are a married couple applying for the Russian birth certificate, you have to bring a copy of your marriage certificate with an apostile on it. From what I understand, an apostile is a mark that you get on your marriage certificate that has some type of Geneva Convention rules applied to it. We should have had an apostile on our certificate in order to get our Russian visas, but somehow we slipped past the system. You know how sneaky Jesy and I tend to be. Anyways, we do not have an apostile and that is a problem.
Well, Jesy found all of this out a day or so after John was born. We were presented with two options by the American Embassy. One- get an apostile on our marriage certificate. After calling the state of Nevada (completely unhelpful) we knew that this was not the route for us. It would take months to get and I was very nervous to be walking around with an undocumented kid in a foreign country. Two- present yourselves as an unmarried couple to the Russian government because without that apostile they don't recognize your marriage anyways. Keep in mind that Jesy told me all of this shortly after John was born- the hormones were still running crazy. An unmarried mother of four- let's just say I was a little upset about this. You gotta do what what you gotta do, though, so Jesy and decided to be "unmarried". My dad is still laughing about this as he has been to Russia and understands what is going on here.
On a chilly Thursday afternoon I bundled John up and drove to the registrar's office with our translator Olga. Jesy met us there. We presented ourselves as an unmarried couple and the Russian worker did not believe us for a second. She went to her boss. The boss noticed that Jesy and I had the same last name and said no thank you American couple. No birth certificate for you today. She knew we were married and she wanted that apostile. Our translator told us that the boss was an "old Soviet style boss and she did not let things like this slide". This was a big bummer for Jesy and I and of course with all of those hormones coursing through me I cried alot that night. I really felt that Johnny was destined to be a nameless, undocumented child forever.
The next morning, my "husband", because he is a very persistent man, decided we should try another registrar's office. They have many throughout the city. Once again, the Russian worker did not believe our unmarried status and brought all of our information to her boss. Lucky for us, this boss was not a Soviet style supervisor. She was an "All Americans are crazy boss". This is the gist of the conversation as told to us by Olga:
Russian worker: "They say they are an unmarried couple. But they have four kids together. Who has four kids together and does not get married?"
Boss: "You know these strange Americans- they do things like this. They all have kids and do not get married. Just give them the birth certificate and get them out of here."
Done- we got a birth certificate and we were out of there before they could take it away.
Now, I have been a member of team Jen Aniston since day one, but I do have to give a shout out here to Brad and Angelina. They have six kids together and are not married! I know the Russians had the Jolie-Pitts in mind when dealing with Jesy and I. Thanks Angelina and Brad for your loosy-goosy stance on marriage. It really helped us out here in Russia.
I write this blog for my children with the hopes that they will someday read it and remember our Russian adventure. This ones for you John.
Good thing you didn't have twins!
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